My Cancer Journey

My cancer journey began February 2011. That became my life. Running to appointments. Hours sitting in the chemo chair. Tests and more tests…MRI’s, PET Scans, CAT Scans, Bone Scans, blood work. But that really wasn’t the beginning.

Who truly knows when it begins…

We all have cells, and any cell can mutate into a cancer cell. So does it begin the moment you notice something out of whack? I had a lump in my left breast. That was nothing new for me. I had fibroids for years that would come and go. I thought nothing of another lump. I guess when it didn’t go away I should have had it checked out, but it remained the same size, the size of an almond, and it didn’t change. I would say it was around eighteen months or so it was there, and it didn’t change. I had several lumps checked out over the last twenty years or so, a few biopsies, and frankly I was tired of running to the doctor and finding out it was another fibroid.

So, what changed?

One night after my shift from work that ended at 3 am I went shopping at Walmart, which I often did. This particular night was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I went to get our food for the holiday dinner. This was in 2010. I sure was feeling good that night. I got my cart of groceries, paid, and headed in the parking lot to my car. I jumped up on the handlebar of the cart lifting my feet off the ground to ride the cart. Pop went my ribs. I put my feet on the ground and struggled to catch my breath. How am I going to put all this in the car, drive home, carry it all into the house, and get it all put away? I painfully did, while every movement made me try to catch my breath.

My daughter helped me cook the Thanksgiving dinner the next day. Everything was a struggle I pushed myself through. As soon as Friday came I went to the chiropractor. For certain I pulled something in my ribs.

The following week was three more visits to the chiropractor. By the end of that week the lump was growing. I called my family doctor. I had to wait three weeks to see her.

All the while the lump was growing.

Finally my appointment came. The doctor said she didn’t want to scare me, but she thought it was cancer and I needed to see a specialist right away. They set up the appointment for two weeks away. After a week I canceled and made an appointment in Omaha to have a thermogram. It happened the same day the specialist appointment was supposed to be.

My husband drove me. It was snowing. The roads were bad. Cars and trucks were in ditches, and there were accidents all along the way. I begged my husband to take me home. I would reschedule when the roads were better. He wouldn’t hear of it.

We made it! They did the thermogram and said normally people come back in two weeks to see the doctor and for the report. However, it looked bad and so they squeezed me in with the doctor.

The doctor came in the room and asked me to get undressed from the waist up. I had no bra on for the swelling from the lump growing. My breast was red, purple and very warm. So I only had my shirt on, and as I whipped the shirt over my head I said ta da. She kept her straight face and said this is serious. You need to see a breast specialist right away.

When I left I called the specialist and told them what the doctor had said. I believe that was a Friday afternoon. They fit me in on Monday afternoon. My appointment with the specialist went like this…she came in the room and said it is for sure cancer. Now we test for what kind it is and how advanced it is. Since it had gone from an almond size to a baseball size in two months, it was a rapidly growing cancer.

The final outcome was stage four incurable, terminal cancer.

HER 2 positive metastasized to six spots in my bones…one in the hip, four in the spine, and one spot in the sternum. That means it was in the lymph nodes as well, and it was suspected that the lesion in my liver, and the lesions in my lungs was the start of more cancer.

The doctor said, “So this means you will be on chemo the rest of your life no matter how long or short that is. You will either die from cancer or the chemo. You will never be considered cured or in remission. You may have no evidence of disease. If you opt for no treatment as rapidly as it is growing you may get four months. If you opt for treatment, and you are lucky you might get eighteen months.”

Guess I jumped ahead. All this was disclosed at the first oncologist appointment. It was so overwhelming, so much information, and so many people in the room. They drop the bomb and then leave the room so you can try and process it all. I was with my husband. The doctor let me call my daughter and put it on speaker so she could be apart of the results reported, and she was able to ask questions as well.

When they all left the room and I was not on the phone with my daughter I almost cried, then I looked at my husband and told him, “I don’t care what they say, they don’t know everything, and whether I die or not is up to God, not them. He is the only one who decides if I live or if I die.”

I started chemo the next day. I went on a trial study. The study had two drugs already being used. Then some got a placebo, and some got a third drug. I figured if I was going to die I might as well do it. It may help others after me.

July 2012 I had the left breast removed, which the tumor was still at 7 cm. They found live cancer, dead cancer, and precancerous. As they said, my breast was very, very sick.

December 28, 2012 radiation started. It turned out to be 28 days of radiation during this time period. I was thankful and blessed, because they had said it would be 36 days, but decided I didn’t need that long.

July 2013 I had my right breast removed against the breast specialist recommendation. I figured I was so huge on the right there was no way they would match my left breast implantation. So I removed it, and had implants put in as well.

The whole process of having the breast removed, and temporary fill implants, till the next step of removing the temporary to the permanent implants was a very long process. It was first one breast-the left cancer breast, and then the right-none cancer breast. It took many appointments for the fill. I believe it was the right breast that got cellulose and I had to go on an intervenous antibiotic for fourteen days. However, I had a trip planned and once they figured out the dosage I responded well, so I did twelve days of driving back and fourth to the doctors only once a day. It was suppose to be twice a day, but I ended up with redman’s syndrome and they realized my body couldn’t handle as much as they wanted to give me.

In 2015 I had such a severe reaction from being on the chemo for more than four years, the doctors decided that I needed a break. They told me to take three months with no chemo and come back and reevaluate. When I went back I told them I did not want to be on the chemo anymore. Not saying if the cancer came back I wouldn’t go back on, but I felt almost alive again being off the chemo. I am still with no evidence of disease, and still off the chemo. Praise the Lord!

Also…

In 2018 I had a partial vaginal hysterectomy. I was told I had interstitial cystitis. I felt like the bladder problems came from a result of four plus years on chemo. During the procedure I had my bladder and rectum tacked up, it was a prolapse repair for both.

February 2019 I had the implants removed. I was feeling like I was being smashed. My breathing was affected. It took a long time for things to settle down after the implants were removed. I had many appointments after the removal to be sure that I wasn’t retaining fluid and that things were healing well. I had been going to a pulmonologist for about a year for the breathing problems. This has gotten better, and I do feel better, and not as smashed as before. My chest area is concave some from the implants pushing my ribs.

Things I learned during this journey:

  1. Doctors don’t know everything. Get a second opinion, do your own research, and advocate for yourself. I supplemented a lot with herbs and vitamins, I also rubbed a diy turmeric paste on the breast with the tumor and the bone sites (please note turmeric will stain your clothes). Vitamin D is essential.
  2. Make sure you have a good support system. My church family ended up as a great source of support for me.
  3. Keep on living, keep on moving, keep on doing, keep your life as normal as you possibly can. Sixteen months after the onset of chemo, and three months after my left breast was removed I flew to CA and tandem skydived from 10,000 feet in the air.
  4. Cancer does not mean you have to die. Cancer is a:

You can read more of my cancer journey at: caringbridge.org/visit/Miss Amazing Grace

Recommended reading:

Healed of Cancer by Dodie Osteen

Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie S. Siegel

Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor: More Rebellion and Fire for You Healing Journey by Kris Carr

Please feel free to add comments, share my story, or follow me.

P.S. Featured image and Cancer Image by marijana1 from Pixabay 

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